I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
