Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
