question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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