Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
