They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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