Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
