They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize