the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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