Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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