I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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