dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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