Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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