I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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