I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
