Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Watching her eat just hurts me
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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