I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
