isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
