dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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