I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
even my farts smell like vagina
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Randomize
