My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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