Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize