and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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