I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I intend to get homeless drunk
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
