the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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