These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
