so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize