Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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