That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize