also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
