You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize