You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
