I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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