what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
