I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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