Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
it's like iHOP with fire
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
