The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
