Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize