My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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