I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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