I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
