Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
