My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
