fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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