May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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