Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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