The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
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