so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
