i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
