theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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