Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
