I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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