I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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