she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
