We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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