i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I need a burrito and a hug.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
