We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
