as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
