So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
