actually, I'm a sock model
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
