I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
