chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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