It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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