Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
