I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
