Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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