what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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